The water is frigid around me, causing goose bumps all over my skin. I’m so cold now I can’t feel anything, and my only thought is what it would be like to throw myself forward into the water and never come up. I want to drown now that you’re gone.
Reflecting in the still water is the dark sky above--clouds completely obscuring what could have been a bright afternoon. But this day…is the day I finally make amends to myself. I take a few steps more into deeper water, so that it passes my waist. I stare to the other side of the lake, knowing that I will never reach the other side; I don’t want to.
I love you so much, but you always slip away before I have a chance to hold on. I’m alone here without you, I can’t feel anything right anymore. Tears are rolling down my cheeks, the only warmth in my vicinity. How long have I been in the water?