Euphoric--Sin

The world cracks and explodes
A million silver pieces soar
Remnants of my failed existence
And the memories I abhor;

There is nothing inside of me
Except a heart composed of lead
Each day the weight grows within
And expands my feeling of dread;

I can’t remember being happy
I don’t think I was ever loved
My emotions have begun to falter
As I fall from whence I was shoved;

Each second that sluggishly passes
Is another that I will come to hate
To survive this long in agony
When will everything finally abate?

The time of hope has drawn to a close
My body can no longer take any more
I have fallen to the edge of my sanity
All that’s left now is to open wide the door.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot(in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.


Day Two:

1. I love, love, LOVE music. I love buying CDs too. I currently have more than eighty CDs.
2. I absolutely adore books. The written word is very important to me.
3. I've always been a very artistic person. Seeing inspiring things within almost everything happens a lot with me
4. When it comes to art, I'm sort of Jack-of-all-trades. I use all sorts of mediums in a lot of different areas.
5. Even if I originally present a tough exterior, don't be fooled. I'm actually a very soft person who will be very kind to you.
6. The way I see it, if you're going to bother to do anything, do it to the best of your ability. It doesn't matter how large or small--if I'm doing something, if I bother to do it, it won't be half-assed.
7. I love it when people analyze how they believe my mind works. To this day, no person has been able to give me a full, correct analysis.
8. I am far more complex than most people realize. While I may have some things that are rather obvious, things with me tend to remain somewhat obscure sometimes.
9. I have only had one pleasant dream in the last three years or so. Otherwise, I only have nightmares, and one scared me so bad I was still looking over my shoulder when I woke up.

Day Three:

1. Make me things. Write, draw, paint.. whatever it is you do. I love it when people make things for me.
2. Cuddle me and hold my hand. Seriously.. I love that.
3. Tell me how much I mean to you.
4. Surprise me every once in a while. Whether it be a gift, a date, or just something sporadic in general.
5. Talk with me. I like having long, deep conversations about absolutely everything: history, politics, environment, religion, conspiracy-theory, psychology. Show me you have a mind deeper than a teaspoon.
6. Go on random adventures with me. Even if it's just.. 'Let's go to Wal-Mart'. Random adventures ALWAYS turn into something more amazing than what they started as.
7. Support me in my endeavors. I have little confidence in myself...so when you give me a push, it shows me you care about what I'm doing.
8. Take the time to gain my trust. I tend to guard my heart, so it could take a while.

Day Four:

1. Her.
2. The things I promised I'd do and still have to do.
3. Moving to California.
4. How much money I'm going to have to put into my car.
5. How little I sleep.
6. How little energy I have lately.
7. How much my job frustrates me.

Day Five:

I don't have anything I regret. Everything was a learning experience. Though some things in the past still make me angry, I regret absolutely nothing that I have done.

Day Six:

1. My brother.
2. Dani.
3. Desirae.
4. Ren.
5. Ivan.

There are a hell of a lot of other people I'd like to put on here. This should have been like.. Day one or something.

Day Seven:

1. Uncleanliness.
2. When the person smells bad...(breath and/or body) e e
3. When they're super creepy... o e;
4. When people hit on you after you've told them to stop.

Day eight:

1. ...Being pinned down.
2. Telling me what could be done before anything has been started.
3. Touching and kissing very slowly all over....

Day nine:

1. =3=
2. T T

Day ten:

I don't feel like myself anymore. I have no interest in the things I used to love doing. I don't have the energy for them anymore. I should be worried, but I'm not. I don't sleep right or eat the same anymore, I have trouble smiling...but I'm still not worried. Often days I feel so blank it doesn't matter to me.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you'd never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot(in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.


Day One:

1. I can't believe what a bitch you turned into.

2. Fine, blame me. It's all my fault for bothering to even try.

3. At times I found you really annoying, but honestly, you are a great friend and have picked me up more times than I can count. I'm glad that you keep trying, because I know that I can be difficult sometimes.

4. Follow your dreams. Do what you most want to do. Don't let what anyone else tells you hold you back. You will make a great future for yourself.

5. I don't know where we'll stand in the future, but it's sure to be interesting.

6. You're such a sweetheart, and I'm glad to have you around. Don't forget that I'm always here when you need me, and keep strong.

7. Yeah, you were given really shitty circumstances, but I believe in you. You're a strong person, you just need to brood less and work towards your goals. You'll succeed, I promise. Don't lose faith in yourself or in people, keep your chin up and do what must be done.

8. Things have just started to rebuild. It's been a tough run these last few months, but I think that things are starting to go very well.

9. Things between us have been challenging at times, but don't forget that I love the hell out of you. I know I'm not perfect, but I try hard for you, even if sometimes I'm just a puddle on the floor, or I'm jealous, or difficult. You have changed my life.

10. You're so kind to me. Thank you for being there for me even though at the time we were complete strangers.

A HAMSTER. OH MY GOD. HE'SSOCUTE.


He doesn't have a name yet, but he was so sweet at the pet store that I had to get him. I was thinking of getting one as it is, but when I found him it was almost as if it was meant to be.

I put my hand in the cage there (they encourage you to touch the animals there, so the cages are glass and have an open top so customers can interact with them. People come in there just to hold animals [Which is what my mum and I went in there for originally /facepalm]) and he just ran into my hand. It was so cute.. and he kept doing it. Apparently he's big for a hamster, and he's VERY energetic. He'd chewed through most of one end of the box they sent him with me in before we got home. (Next question is.. why they don't rent little cages to put them in until you get them home or something...Hamster + Cardboard box = runaway hamster) When we got home he ran around in the hamster ball we already had, and when I put him in the cage he ran around in his wheel. SHARE SOME OF YOUR ENERGY WITH ME LITTLE GUY.

Anyway. I might post a picture of him here if someone wants to see. He's super cute. He also has like.. a hole in his ear.. which is sort of cool. It sent my mom on a rant about how he's a tough guy and should wear a leather jacket. /facepalm

If anyone has any name suggestions, please let me know. I sorta want something simple, but show me whatcha got. x3

AndyesIknow. EuphoricSinisEuphoric.

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When your world came crashing down, I held it up, but who will hold up my world, now that it's fallen down?