literature

Right Before My Eyes

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Euphoric--Sin's avatar
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Literature Text

                                        Riddled with issues, self turmoil,
                                         We walk a path of restoration,
                                      In our hopes of finding that chance,
                                          To erase our memory to blank.


I still remember that day… so vivid in my head it remains. It’s a deep scar rendered along my memory that I almost want to forget completely. We were all so proud, a deep flame set ablaze in our very souls. Our loyalty was unwavering, and we marched forth in dignified strides, both capable and majestic.
I don’t know where that went.
It seemed not long after that very journey that we were being thrown back--forced with an almost unprecedented power. After Stalingrad was lost, the whole affair of war seemed hopeless. We must have dropped the motivation and will when we fled--the retreat had been heavy with a deep emotional weight. Everyone looked torn apart, morale gone, but we still had a job to do. We were his soldiers.
The loss of ground was drastic on all sides--the allies were pushing us back. They had already captured Italy. But it didn’t take long for us to be back in Germany, surrounded on all fronts. The sounds of bombs and gunfire echoed through Berlin; battle, right at our doorstep. How could such a thing have happened? What could we do to prevent a sure massacre?
It hurt, it stung terrible when the news of our own surrender settled in. The silence that followed pressed in on my ears; we had been let down. My pride had been so fully shattered that I cried. I had lost everything that day…


The breeze rustled through the grass, causing the leaves on the overhanging branches above me to shiver in discomfort. It was a relaxed summer day, the sun shimmering pleasantly overhead… but it wasn’t something that mattered to me at the moment. No… today all I felt was shame.
Even though it was already years after the war, and the loss, those memories remained startlingly colourful. I hated thinking about it, but when I was alone, there it was, sitting beside me. When I was going about daily things, it hovered annoyingly over my head.
Today though… today was something different--the edge was sharper, and kneading at my heart. It felt like something viciously jerking at my chest, trying to dislodge the constantly beating organ. It hurt more than even the days that it was occurring.
Clutching onto my shirt above the searing, I leaned my head over, blonde hair dangling down as I sat there on the grass. Today I had gone out without organizing myself--I just needed to get out.
The nearby stream gurgled from the trickle of water escaping down through the rocks. Listening to this, my eyelids settled down over my blue eyes, and I felt them come--the tears. The hadn’t appeared in a long time,  hadn’t let them. I always made sure I was by myself when it happened--I wasn’t supposed to cry.
The slid hopelessly down my cheeks, rolling and finally taking the dreary tumble onto my lap, leaving spots on my pants.
I could hear birds chirping, hear them twittering joyously at one another, but the gorgeous day didn’t help me.
A sudden pressure on my body forced my hand to instinctively fling out and catch the ground in front of me. My eyes flew open, and I realized my nose hovered inches over the grass. Raising my eyes, I watched a familiar form roll down the hill to the stream, and come to a halt with a splash.
Feliciano coughed raggedly while lofting himself up from the stream. Water was shedding from his body, the droplets shimmering with a moving radiance. The man’s partially damp hair fluttered in the breeze, and I couldn’t shift my gaze.
With a grin, “Italy” rebounded from the water, practically skipping up the hill, and flinging his tiny body on me.
“Germany!~” It was always surprising to me how his slight weight caused me to simply keel over.
“A-Ah! Hello Feliciano!” I realized that my voice was shaking, and even now while I laid splayed out on my back beneath a small Italian, I was crying. Hastily, I used both hands to rub them away--too late.
“Why are you crying Germany?” When my hands drew away, I noticed that the brunette’s smile had slipped away, and he looked confused.
“Oh. It’s just in the past!” My voice now held a false strength as a façade. Not only that, but I gave him a fabricated smile.
“Germany…” He whimpered softly, a small pout creasing his lips, the lower stuck out childishly. “I know something is bugging you! People don’t cry for no reason!” He was a persistent one, that was for sure. Feliciano would never give up easily, and what was there to lose in telling him?
“It’s the way… I lost everything when it ended. I can’t have pride in anything I do anymore…” I forced back the tears that threatened to seep over again.
“You lost, but isn’t life easier now?” This smacked me slightly, because it was partially true. Things were easier now without the Treaty of Versailles, Germany wasn’t so poor… but it was now occupied by allies. I had no pride, and no freedom. I didn’t want to argue with him, I really didn’t, I just wanted to get off the subject entirely.
“It is, yes.” I gave him a confident smile, which he took for real. Grinning broadly, his lips curving upwards, he hopped off of me, and offered his hand down towards me.
“Let’s go home.” It was odd; after the war finished, even though he was no longer my ally, he still wanted to be friends.
Hesitantly reaching up, my hand slipped into his, gripping gently. Placing my other palm against the grass, I used it to help me stand. “Yeah.”
“Oh! Oh!” He became a bit giddy, and squirmed in an eager manner--he reminded me of a puppy at times. “Germany! Germany! Hug!” He let go of my hand, throwing his arms around me. I took a moment of confusion, before embracing him in return.
He squeezed me tightly within his small and yet surprisingly strong arms. Then satisfied, he let go, giving me another of his questioning, hopeful looks, “Can we hold hands on the way back?!” He was so innocent…
“Sure,” I said this with a sincere smile, and reached over, holding his tiny hand. My other arm hung at my side, and as we began to walk home in the warm afternoon, he talked happily, while I thought.
The smile expanded on my face, and I held his hand firmly. Maybe I hadn’t lost everything after all.


                                                     ~~End~~
This is a little bit of GermanyxItaly. The only Fanfiction I've ever completed actually, but if the responses are good, I hope to write more.

I actually cried when I wrote some parts of it--for whatever reason.


My work is not to be copied, in part or in whole, nor is it to be reproduced in any form whether electronic or otherwise, without my written permission. Thank you.

Copyright 2009, Euphoric--Sin
© 2009 - 2024 Euphoric--Sin
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SwimmingFreak21's avatar
*melts into a puddle of happiness* This is too great.
I read this about 6 times before I commented